Rage Quit
by BDSMM
Summary: Cobra, Freed, Gajeel, Laxus and Vander are each put into situations that inspire strong emotions. Unable to cope with circumstances, the men of Fairy Tail, in their own way, angrily abandon the activity that has become just too frustrating. Read the angst, hilarity and drama that accompanies each man's rage quit! Each chapter is stand alone.
1. Rage Quit CoLu

Rage Quit - CoLu

* * *

It's the once a month D&D game and sadly, it just fucking isn't going Cobra's way. Even though the DM is his god damn mate.

* * *

"With my kit that's twenty-six, Sunshine." Cobra said as he glanced over his sheet.

"The trap springs up and hits you for," the dice rolled behind the screen, "six points of acid damage"

"Six? What the fuck? Twenty-six was more than enough for the last trap." He said as he grabbed the pencil. Erasing his hit points to only have five left was frustrating. They had only started this session two hours ago and the goal today was to finally finish getting through the keep.

Sunshine knew how to write one hell of a story and the combat was always fun. Erik had no issues playing along, especially since he really just got to be himself. Well, he also got to kill things, which was awesome.

If he didn't love her like a psycho crazed motherfucker there would be no way he would ever be caught playing Dungeons and Dragons. But he does and so he plays, it also helped that she was naked and riding him when she asked him to join the group. Sunshine just knew that letting him put his dick into her was the easiest way to get him to agree to anything. That and saying there would be blood and potential for viscera always helped.

"Don't worry, that was the last trap." He knew that was a damn dirty lie. Sunshine was an evil DM. "Okay, would you like to take your time to look for any other traps?"

"Come on this is boring! Can't I just use a fireball?" Fire fuck whined as he fidgeted with his wizard figure on the map.

"Natsu fireballs don't solve everything, but it's your character." Lucy said as she nibbled on her pencil.

 _Oh party death! Come on Natsu! Yes, kill the party you little fuck. New story time and then all new evil._ He suppressed the shiver that was riding up his back, when her soul went in that direction it wasn't going to be pretty. Then again, she just started penning a Ravenloft campaign and the word tentacles came up way too many times.

"Be ready, the great elocution wizard Emperor Igneel Dragonlord of the Kingdom of Dragonconia will save this day!" The fire dragon slayer grabbed his dice and grinned. Cobra was grateful he had evasion on his rogue (fuck yeah level 2 auto grant ability).

"Evocation." Lucy drawled.

"Huh?" Annoying fuckwit asked.

"You're an Evocation wizard, Natsu."

"Who gave flame brain a long title?" Elza asked as his shirt went flying.

"He did, Gray. It's on his character sheet." Hammerdina said.

"Hey, Wendy. Can I get some healing please?" Cobra asked with a very polite smile. Trying to bat his one eye all pretty and sweet like.

"Who's Wendy, Viper?" Peanut asked. She was really good about staying in character, then again Sunshine made her character pretty easy to play, nothing fancy.

Whereas Cobra insisted that if he was going to play then Sunshine better pull out every damn book she owns and make him something totally fucked up crazy. He likes his character, Viper is one messed up human rogue with mad skill points and stabby things. It's amazing at how quickly you can get plus two kukris when you let the DM ride your face for a while.

Cobra had to review his character sheet notes so he could be in character.

 _Peanut = Maribella Cleric of Naralis Analor = Healing my ass_

 _Hammerdinna = Lady SmiteStrong Paladin of Torm = Tanking for my ass_

 _Elza = LaGlace Ice Sorcerer = Freezing someone's ass_

 _Fire Fuck = Obnoxious Fire Wizard = throwing his ass to cover mine_

 _Lightbulb = Anger Issues Barbarian = point ass at bad guys_

 _Blue Balls = Siegrain (original name) Ranger = hunts asses down_

 _Sunshine = Eternal Goddess of my Fucking World, I worship her ass!_

"Oh, beautiful Maribella would you please hit me with a little healing energy?" He asked. Still trying to bat his eye in sweetness towards the Peanut.

"I don't know I only have four more spells before we rest again. What if we get into trouble?" She said as she played with her fingers.

"Don't you have a potion or scroll or something?" He asked.

"Don't you, Viper?" Blue Balls interjected.

"I drank your last one."

Cobra watched as Blue Balls looks over his sheet before he hits the table making figures and dice jump. "Lucy! He can't go stealing things from the party!"

"He can, he's Neutral Evil." Sunshine said with a slight smirk on her face.

"I demand you make recompense for the theft of property!" Hammerdina screeched.

"Erza, do we need to roll for initiative?" Sunshine asks.

"Yeah, Lady SmiteBitch you gonna bring it?" He goaded, much to the displeased look on Blue Balls' face. _Win motherfucking win._

"Lady SmiteStrong you feel it would be against your path if you smite one of your own teammates. To do so may rescind some of Torm's power from you for the day. Do you wish to act this way?" Sunshine asked with that 'oh please give me a reason to fuck you up' look to her.

Hammerdina quickly sat down, "No."

"Blondie, this is kind of boring. I'm going to bash in the door." Lightning prick said as he grabbed his dice.

"Okay, then give me a strength check." She said.

"I'm going to move about sixty feet behind Lady SmiteBitch." Cobra said, moving his figure. He noticed how Elza stayed beside him.

"Lady SmiteStrong, Paladin of Torm. Please, Viper use my name correctly." She said through pursed lips.

"What fun is that?" Cobra blew her a kiss which got his shin kicked by one Sunshine. "Also, it's a lousy name."

"Viper, do you have to antagonize…" Blue Balls started to say.

"Eighteen on the strength check."

"You smash open the door, give me a reflex save. Also, let's roll for initiative." Sunshine said as she started grabbing figures from the box.

Cobra bounced up in his seat, oh hell yeah combat time. He gets to kill all kinds of things. This was going to be awesome. Then he looked at his hit points and swallowed. Shit he was going to have to be careful. Peanut didn't have Raise Dead or something like that. _Fuck._

Everyone rolled and the combat started, Cobra just kept holding action, letting the barbarian rage and the Paladin smash through things. It was like the Rogue, Sorcerer and Wizard were on coffee break. To keep it interesting He and Gray actually talked in character about the fighting.

"I am not carrying the Barbarian when he falls over after all that rage." Elza said.

"No, you're like a quarter his Half Orc size, unless you got some crazy strength magic." Which leave it to Laxus to play himself but uglier. Cobra tried to figure out why lightning fucker even played and then he remembered, oh yeah Freed is allergic to this game so it's his _me_ time. That and even though Cobra mated Sunshine the guy still had a thing for her. Oh well that was a fantastic day.

The nice thing about not being active in a major combat is that you get to think about all the things that got you to this moment. Like all the cool looking poison green swirls that wrapped around her neck and completely covered her right arm in chemical symbols for various poisons. He thought his mate mark would be some lame scale thing, but not for his Sunshine instead she got wicked looking tattoos. Now the marks he had were fucking awesome and not around his neck, instead they wrapped around his wrists and up the forearms. They had all the constellations in gold scales and maroon framing.

Still shocked the fuck out of him that mating even worked. He thought for certain he'd kill her but hell no, apparently, she's like a cockroach and you just can't kill her. His erection was getting worse as he thought about how beautiful she looked impaling herself on his dick when they were doing it in a club bathroom.

No one ever said mating had to be romantic, but fucking hell some asshole slipped her a drug and like a good person he let her take the effects out on him. Because he's a nice fucking person. Had nothing to do with wanting her or his own selfish best interests. Nope, nothing whatsoever.

Then things went sideways and when he came he couldn't help but bite her at the same time. Not like he registered what the fuck was going on until the poison filled the room and she could have died. Instead, nope. Sunshine being fucking batshit crazy came again from being poisoned. After that they didn't leave a goddamn hotel room for a week.

Of course, the Fairy Fucks all took it badly, but there isn't much they can do about it. Mates are mates and even then, he'd kill them all for his Sunshine. He glanced over at her and saw that sexy evil grin she gets. Which reminded him that he should be paying attention to the game and not his erection.

"Lucy! I can't throw a fireball in there can I?" Fire fuck whined, again. Cobra didn't even want to listen to the utter chaos that was his soul.

"Not unless you want to hurt your party." She replied as she toppled over another goblin figure. Fire Fuck huffed and crossed his arms. _He'll do it, because he can. Why do I invite him?_

"I keep asking you that, Sunshine." Cobra drawled as she smacked him.

"I'm going to do horrible things to you later if you don't stay out of my soul!" She whisper-yelled at him, low enough to where only the slayers could hear her.

"Seriously, Blondie ain't no one want to know that shit." Light Bulb said as he picked up his dice.

"You hear a cackle; the sound is terrifying. It's inhuman and the source of it is behind Viper, LaGlace and Igneel. What do you do?" She asked, her voice eerily monotoned.

"I turn around and make a double move away from it." Cobra replied.

"Same." Elza said as he grabbed his dice.

"I throw a fireball at it!" Fire Fuck exclaimed as he grabbed a bunch of d6s. Cobra swallowed hard. _FUCK!_

"Okay, Gray move LaGlace and since Cobra you held your action, you'll be in the firing range."

"What?" He stood up, knocking the chair back into the wall. He shot his mate a look that said, 'save me'.

Sunshine didn't even spare him a glance. "Okay, Natsu roll for Fireball."

"I'd like to use my feat for this." He said with that fucking demented kid grin thing he does. The one that makes his skin crawl because it's just fucking evil.

"Sure," she clicked her tongue, "you can double the damage." Cobra felt his arms shake as he leaned over the table. Trying to will Natsu's dice to only roll ones.

"Wait! Sunshine you can't let him do this." He looked back at her and pleaded.

"He's Chaotic Neutral, of course I can let him." Sunshine shrugged and closed off her soul. He hated that she learned to do that, block him on purpose. Erik swallowed hard, this wasn't cool at all.

"Natsu what's your DC?"

"Oh" He pushed his sheet over to Blue Balls who helped point out the correct number. "Twenty."

"Okay, Need a reflex roll. Roll well." Sunshine said to him.

Grabbing his green d20 Cobra said a silent prayer and rolled, "shit! Okay it's not a one by I got an eleven total."

Sunshine frowned at him. "Natsu roll for damage."

This was it, critical point. If Natsu rolled all ones he'll live, barely. Assuming Peanut wasn't going to fuck him on the healing. Shit! He really liked this character. Sure, Lucy could work some kind of mojo in bringing it back, but they still had like another six hours of play today. He had things to stab and treasure to steal. Maybe a princess to go bang (which they would totally roleplay out later) and other mischief. The town's mayor had like no security, he had plans for Viper!

Cobra didn't even bother trying to keep his jaw up when the first three d6s hit the table, all of them 6. Okay he could still survive this, but hell no the next three all came out with 6s. He was toast, because the one time he couldn't make his fucking reflex save!

His eye went wide, as he stared at the red dice. Fire Fuck started doing a happy jig dance thing. Telling Elza to suck his flaming cock.

Had they didn't already start this game down a few hit points and spells he'd be okay!

Had she not upped the trap difficulty he wouldn't have gotten hurt!

If she didn't decide to put nasty fucking thing behind the pyromaniac he'd get to live!

If the fucking cleric did her goddamn job Viper would live!

Instead Erik flipped the table over and snarled. "I fucking quit!" The room was quiet except for his breathing and he took that as his cue to leave. He was so done with this game. Done with this day. Hell, he didn't even want to see little miss 'I'm your fucking goddess' Sunshine again.

Not true, he'd see her later. Very much later and naked. Oh, she was getting the shit fucked out of her in his rage. Then again, this is Sunshine, she'll fucking love it. He scrubbed a hand over her face, his crazy mate. What the hell was he going to do with her?

He was done with this bullshit game and Natsu. Natsu was going to die a slow painful death from the poison he'll make for that little shit.

His rage right now would make the fucking Barbarian jealous.

Erik went for a nice long walk to try and calm himself down. He lost his goddamn rogue with awesome stabby weapons. Fuck that game. He never wanted to hear about Forgotten Realms or Paladins or Clerics or Evocation Wizards again!

He punched a rock and roared. Cobra didn't like to lose, in fact losing sucked. He'd spent so much of his life feeling like he already lost that to even lose something like a game was stupid. Sure, he won Sunshine and his freedom which was completely more important than a game. Still, she loved that game and he loved that character she built for him. Loved all the stories they told about his little imaginary Viper.

Viper was a cool dude. You didn't care about the law and needed shit to get done, no questions asked? You called Viper, all prices are negotiated. He didn't care where the money came from only that it spent. He lived on the road and ate well. Slept with whores and never paid. You know the cool kind of guy.

After a while of mourning for his level seven rogue he felt a hand on him. He looked up and right into the underside of Sunshine's beautiful tits. She leaned over and placed a kiss to his forehead.

"I think baby, you're just going to have to do something else on our once a month D&D day." She said to him.

"What? You like when I play with you." All very true and he loved seeing her imagination at work. She was so much fun and this meant so much to her.

"Not if you're going to rage quit like that again. I know, losing your first character is hard. I know Natsu is a moron, but it's only a game." Sunshine had put herself right into his lap and ran her fingers through his hair. Before she lightly touched the tops of his ears.

"So, no more Viper?" Cobra pleaded.

"Well if you would not have flipped the table you would have known that the evil guy had Counterspell, so no one was dying." Sunshine said as she leaned forward and kissed his cheek. Her soul was in that calm vibe mode, the one that could put his ass to sleep.

"So…." Cobra kissed her slim fingers.

"No baby, you aren't playing D&D again. I think we are going to have a little funeral for Viper. Then I think you need a new hobby."

"Can it involve blood and viscera?"

"No," she kissed his ear and pulled a little on his earring. "But maybe light maiming, maybe you could start a fight club for training reasons. It would also get Natsu out of the group."

"Fuck no! I ain't babysitting him just so you can hang out with adults."

"It's only one day a month and you get to poison him." She said. _Fuck I love you!_

"Fine." He looked down, trying to hide his grin.

Her fingers ran down his arms and tangled with his. "Hey, it's okay. How about we have a pizza, Netflix and sex night."

"Can we start with the sex?" He grinned at his little mate.

"Right here at the back of the guild?" She purred before leaning in to bite his neck.

"Yeah, I've had a bad day."

"Are you trying to use your D&D Character death to guilt trip me into sex?" She asked complete with dramatic flourish.

"Is it working?" He waggled his brow.

"You know it is baby. Now come on rip off my panties." She said to him and those fucking things were destroyed.

End

Written by MadSoulessQueen


	2. Rage Quite FreLu

Rage Quit – FreLu

It had been a hell of a long day as Laxus made his way back to the guild hall ignoring the regular end of the day hustle and bustle of Magnolia's rush hour. 10 hours spent on a ship going to and from Tenrou Island just so his Gramps could officially hand over the reins of Fairy Tail was not how he'd wanted to spend the day. Laxus paused briefly as his stomach churned at the memory of the rolling seas. He fucking hated ships! And trains! Magi-cycles and magic mobiles could all go to hell too. "Fucking transportation." He gritted his teeth swallowing the threatening bile that started to rise. "Fucking dragon ass slayer cunt sucking side-effect," he mumbled straightening his posture as he took a deep steadying breathe and continued walking.

He'd wanted to just teleport the two of them there and back. It would have taken less than an hour and he knew he had enough magic to do it safely. But no, the old geezer got it in his head that they could use some "bonding time" where he could share his wisdom to the newest generation. That was a loud of shit and Laxus had known it going in. The bastard just wanted an incapacitated audience to listen to all the perverted nonsense he'd gotten up to when he was Laxus' age. Between trying not to vomit and listening to some fucking twisted stories Laxus was done for the day and just hoped the guild hall was still standing.

Walking around the bend the tall blonde sighed. Fairy Tail still stood tall and proud and most importantly _not_ on fire. Things were looking up.

A small crooked smile tugged at his lips. He was home.

Pushing the door open Laxus made his way inside and he was met with the most unexpected sight. What he was seeing just didn't make any sense! In his mild state of shock his body took him to the bar where a very chipper bartender stood happily chatting away with Wendy drying some mugs.

"Mira, why is Freed tied up?" Laxus said forcing to keep his tone even. There, in the center of the guild was Freed sitting in a chair wrapped up tightly in rope like a goddamned mummy. Lucy was draped on his lap holding a glass of whiskey up to his lips so he could take a sip. Her sitting in his lap wasn't new - the pair had been dating for 4 months now. Even her helping him eat or drink was a common occurrence since the rune mage tended to forget to do those things when he got really involved trying to solve whatever problem he'd stumbled upon.

No, what _was_ new and had him honestly confused was the fact that his best friend was tied up and acting like this was just another day at the guild hall.

"Oh he may have gotten a little angry with the lawyer the new Magic Council sent here," she giggled handing over a stein of beer for Fairy Tail's newest Master.

"Wait what?" Laxus' stormy blue eyes bugged. "Why did the council send a lawyer? What the hell happened?" His best friend was obviously not in any distress and while he had a hard time believing Freed of all people had expressed anger that merited being bound in Lucy's magic cancelling rope that was not nearly as weird as how he was acting now. The crazy bastard actually looked happily content unable to move with the busty blond on his lap and if Laxus was honest with himself her really couldn't blame the guy there. Lucy did have a tight little ass.

"The Magic Council sent over a lawyer because there seemed to be an error in the change of Master forms we submitted. They wanted to notify us of the legal ramifications for not following policy on such important paperwork." Mira's cheerful tone and smile did not match the news she'd just shared.

"Ramifications?" he dared asked and Mira just giggled again.

"Oh, just a fine," she said refilling his drink waving an absent hand while she turned to serve someone else.

"How much?" he asked. First day as guild master and he already fucking owed money to the Council? Worst day ever!

"Hmm?" Mira asked distractedly as she continued moving about serving and taking orders.

"How much was the fine Mira?" The migraine he'd had earlier from dealing with his gramps was back in full force and a tick was forming on his brow.

"Oh," she said setting a plate with a huge steak, baked potatoes and steamed veggies down in front of him – it was his go-to dinner order. "Just 10 million jewels." With that the white haired she-demon turned away again to deliver an order to the two people that had caused this entire line of questioning in the first place.

"Ten…million…jewel. Ten million fucking jewels. FUCKING TEN MILLION JEWELS?" Why was no one looking upset? "How the hell did a paperwork error merit a fine of ten million jewels?" Everyone's eyes were on him anyway after his initial outburst so he'd take this opportunities to get some answers. He looked out over the 3 dozen or so members that were currently staring back at him with various emotions Laxus neatly cataloged away. Fear in some, shock in others, a few confusion but the one that stood out the most was the busty blonde actually making eye contact. What the hell could have happened that only one person would look at him?

"Well you see…" Lucy started to explain since everyone else seemed to be afraid to move. Lighting was running along their new Master's skin and they all knew if anyone made one wrong move they'd likely get lit up like a Christmas tree.

Earlier that same day

"Miss, I'm here to see your Guild Master Laxus Dreyer. Please show me to his office."

Mira looked over the bar at and unfamiliar face. He was a short average looking man with ink black hair wearing a nice expertly tailored suit but for the life of her she couldn't understand why he would be here or need to speak with Laxus.

"You just missed the Master! He's going to be out for the day. Would you like to leave a message?" she responded kindly.

"No, this matter is of the utmost importance and if it is not settled by the end of day you all will be looking for a new place to waste your lives away," he sneered looking around the glorified bar. It was 10 o'clock in the morning and there was a woman wearing next to nothing drinking wine by the barrel! Attractive, decidedly, but probably couldn't put two words together to save her life. She was probably just a mage groupie Fairy Tail kept around to keep their actual mages around.

"Sir, I'm sure we can work this out calmly and to everyone's satisfaction." Freed had eyed the man the moment he had entered the guild and just new he meant trouble. His beloved Laxus had seen fit to leave him in charge for the day and he would not disappoint him.

"Mira may I get a refill on my tea and," Freed turned to the shorter man, "is there something you would like?" he offered magnanimously.

"Coffee, black," the lawyer glanced behind the bar briefly, "and in a clean cup." He turned sharply away and settled at an empty table near the wall.

"My apologies Mira. We'll be waiting right over there." He gave the cheerful woman a small smile and slight bow before joining the unpleasant man at the table.

RQ

"That may be correct but it clearly states in Section IV of Municipal Ordinance 493 that business owner transfers must be filed in accordance to the mandates outlined in…" Lucy heard as she entered the guild. It didn't take long for her to find her boyfriend. He seemed to be having an intense discussion with an unfamiliar looking man and she could see the tenseness of his jaw and posture as the two men exchanged law citations and quoted regulatory procedure practices. Making her way up to the bar Lucy thought it safer to ask their resident baby-crazed snoop who the man was before approaching.

"What's going on?" she asked sliding onto a nearby barstool tipping her head toward the debating pair.

Large deep blue eyes settled on her with concern and Lucy was instantly on her guard. It took a lot to stop Mira's unicorn from farting rainbows and by that look the poor thing was stopped up. Leaning in closer Mira spoke softly.

"The Magic Council found some discrepancies in the documents filed to update the Master of record. It apparently caused some issues and now there's a fine of 10 million jewels that if we don't pay in the next 30 days the guild will be ordered to disband. Freed's been speaking with their lawyer for the 4 last hours going back and forth trying to settle things but that man keeps finding loop holes in all his arguments."

Lucy's eyes went wide. Everything had finally settled down after the Alvarez war, now this? She should have expected the Magic Council to try shutting them down again once they'd been re-established but this was a low blow. Almost all the Magic Guilds had taken huge financial hits post the war because of all the rebuilding they needed to do, medical expenses to pay for because of the injuries they received during the war and there was just a serious lack of paying jobs for the mages since a lot of people were struggling to just survive following the war.

Lucy's eyes narrowed on the man. There was something familiar about him…

"Jackass just needs to get laid," Cana drawled out taking the seat right next to Lucy.

"You willing to take one for the team?" Lucy quipped.

Cana's dark purple eyes gazed over her barrel at the man. He wasn't horrible in the looks department but damn if he didn't look uptight. He'd probably keep his socks on the whole time and would finish before she even got heated up. The prospect was not inviting and she couldn't help the look of disgust that marred her face. The man was sweating profusely doing absolutely nothing but sit there and talk. What the hell would he produce if he physically exerted himself? As he wiped his brow with his soaked handkerchief she swore her eyes were playing tricks on her.

"Did his hair just shift?"

"Oh my Gods! I fucking knew he looked familiar!" Lucy whisper screamed at her friends. "That's the lawyer I got disbarred right after we got back from Tenrou. He's wearing a hair piece now but that's him. How the hell did he get a job with the Magic Council?"

"Why was he disbarred?" Cana leaned in further draping her arm over her friend.

"He used to work for my father and is the main reason he lost everything. When my father started rebuilding his fortune he started noticing the discrepancies in his books and compiled all of his lawyer's fraudulent activities. Father died before he could take it to the Bar Association so I did for him. That bastard is a clever motherfucker and probably used all the destruction and chaos to clear his record or take on a new name." Lucy seethed. She might not have wanted to live the life her family name and position came with but that didn't mean she wasn't proud to be a Heartfilia and Jude's daughter. No one harmed her family and got away with it.

Plastering on her fake smile she turn to her friends and grabbed the tray.

"I'll bring them their refills Mira, don't worry." With that Lucy strolled over to her boyfriend. Freed shoulders were tense and she could almost taste his frustration. This man he was up against was brilliant, a dirty rotten scoundrel of a snake, but he was brilliant and knew the law better than most.

Hearing someone approach Freed turned and his heart skipped a beat. Verbally sparring with this man had been unpleasant and taxing. For every rule he pointed out the man shot back with some other ordinance that he'd twisted to void out the validity of a perfectly constructed law. He was tired of this man's nonsense but he couldn't just disappoint everyone and give in. That would be the end of Fairy Tail. This was a fight over Fairy Tail's right to exist. Seeing his beautiful angel approaching with a fresh cup of Earl Grey was just what he needed to continue the battle at hand.

"I see you're resorting to bribes with one of your slags. She's got a nice pair of tits I'll give you that but it won't work." The unpleasant man said eyeing Lucy lecherously. The blonde figured the man wouldn't recognize her. People like him never really saw everyone else around them and she was willing to bet he'd not once looked at her face.

Freed's face darkened immediately mind racing on which part of this man he needed set down and correct first.

"There's no two ways about it. This clause here has you nailed to rights so I suggest you pay the fine or close your doors." Turning his attention back to the nice set of tits and ass holding the tray baring his coffee he offered, "If you're looking for a warm bed tonight sweetheart I'll be more than happy to oblige." And that is what broke the delicate hold Freed had had left on his poise, his reason, his manners and his patience.

The room darkened as wisps of dark magic swirled around Freed whipping his long emerald locks around his body lending to his menacing aura. Both of his cerulean eyes now black with glowing violet pupils narrowed on the unpleasant lawyer from the Magic Council. The cries of his guild mates and friends couldn't be heard over the ragging noise of his magic as it built up past its boiling point.

Freed could take a lot of things in stride. He was under no illusions that his best friends were easy to get along with. Laxus had serious anger issues and could be a total ass at times especially to him. Bickslow was almost always crass and never knew when to stop his teasing or jokes. Even Ever could be, quite frankly, a bitch whenever it suited her, and it did a lot. These were who his best friends were and he'd spent many years of his life around all three of them at the same time and never once had they driven him beyond his ability to brush they misbehaviors aside.

This man had spent the entire morning bastardizing the rules of this land, this country, to suit his fancy. Used even underhanded trick to destroy everything he and the guild had fought so hard to protect. The slime's very presence was an insult to the foundations of his own Rune magic and he had held his tongue but no more.

This parasite had questioned his angel's honor. Used crass degrading language in her presence in reference to her person like she was just an object or commodity to be used or traded without feelings. This man had the audacity to solicit his Lucy. _Mine!_ The demon that fed his dark écriture magic rumbled and Freed's rapier was drawn. He could feel the onyx horns growing out of his head, the swelling of his body as his demon form came slowly to the surface. His coat was straining against his increasing bulk and though it was from a special line from Elluris and would be expensive to replace Freed was past the point of caring. The ant now cowering below him was the only thing he could see.

"The law is not your toy to use anyway you please and neither is Lucy!" he ended on a scream bringing his weapon down to eradicate such poisonous filth from his world of law and order (dun dun) for good but then his power was gone in a instant.

Freed stood there in the now silent space, arm still held high ready to strike down his enemy but the overwhelming emotions were gone. His world spun and he dropped his sword as snakelike constrictions pinned his arms to his sides. Looking up he saw her, the end of a rope in her hands that led directly to him looking like an avenging angel and today was judgement day.

"Lucy, I thought we agreed not in the guild anymore." Freed said his cheeks taking on slit hue of pink.

"Freed!" Lucy squeaked jaw dropping slightly. "Just sit down. I'll take care of this guy," Lucy pleaded. She knew she held the trump card so she wasn't worried about facing off with this scoundrel again. She just could not _believe_ Freed had just hinted at their private bed play in the middle of the guild with Mira and Cana both in hearing range. She'd been effectively keeping these women out of their private activities this whole time and all for nothing. Their loks had a physical sensation boring into the back of her head promising a tormenting interrogation in her future.

RQ

"So in the end Freed lost his shit because he was over ruled by a dirty lawyer which you stopped and now we're filing harassment charges against the council?" Laxus was a little astonished but hell, it explained everything including Mira's more than chipper mood. That woman would ride the high from that little morsel of gossip for a week.

"Yep," Lucy smiled resting her head on Freed's shoulder fingers treading through his loose hair.

"Why is he still tied up?" It was a valid point but one that had the couple blushing redder than tomatoes and Mira passing out with heart in her eyes.

"I have not yet fulfilled the measure of my punishment for breaking the rules," Freed said with all the dignity that a man tied up and being sat on could.

Laxus opened his mouth to respond but immediately closed it. He didn't need to know. This was Fairy Tail; everyone was crazy and that was excuse enough.

End

Written by BlasphemousOrder


	3. Yoga Quit LaLu

**Yoga Quit**

 **. . .**

"You promised you would try," Lucy whined as she tried grabbing Laxus hand to lead him out to their back deck.

The two had been married for about a year by this point. Lucy had terminated her lease and moved into Laxus' rather large home overlooking a lake on the edge of the city. The house had a beautiful deck overlooking the scenery, which Lucy used on a regular basis to practice yoga.

A few months after the wedding, Master Makarov had officially retired and handed the Guild over to Laxus. Little did his grandson know, but the old man had stopped handling the administrative affairs the moment he and Lucy had gotten engaged. It was a "welcome to leadership" and "paybacks a bitch" gift all wrapped up in one.

To say that Laxus had been stressed would be an understatement. While Laxus remained in control of his calm, cool exterior at the Guild, when he got home he would vent for ages to the blonde about all the shit he was dealing with.

" _The kid's an idiot!" Laxus yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. Lucy giggled. "It's not funny. Like, babe. I think he might have serious issues. Even after everything we've been through, he still can't get it together to not tear through a town?"_

 _Lucy shrugged. He was talking about Natsu, of course. Lucy had left Team Natsu upon getting engaged. Being the wife and mate of a dragon slayer, it just made more sense for her to work with the Thunder Legion, since being separated from Laxus for large periods of time proved difficult for both of them._

Conversations like these happened with frequency—usually involving Natsu, Gray and Erza. While Laxus frequently found sex to be therapeutic, and Lucy certainly didn't mind their sessions increasing in frequency or intensity, the level of stress he was experience was beginning to surpass even what "assault with a friendly weapon" could cure.

Lucy often handled her stress through meditation and more recently, yoga practice. While Capricorn had been the first to teach her how to control her magic through meditation, she found the stress relieving benefits of yoga to be much needed as she coped with all of her life's recent changes.

Not only had she felt the benefits of the practice physically, the mental benefits where her stress was concerned were amazing. It was that type of amazing you wanted to share with everyone you cared about. So when Laxus, her mate and the love of her life, started stressing in a way that was clearly affecting him, she'd begged him to try yoga with her.

" _Just try it for twenty minutes. I'll teach you some of the basics and if you really hate it we can stop." Lucy begged._

 _Laxus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Babe, I appreciate the offer but seriously, I don't think chick exercise is gonna help me deal with the bullshit piling up at the Guild."_

 _Lucy huffed, crossing her arms. "It's not_ chick exercise _. It's an ancient practice that was specifically designed to clear your mind. Which is what you need right now."_

 _She turned around and stalked towards him. He was sitting in his office chair, pulled away from his desk and facing her direction. With a few well placed steps, Lucy was straddling him. On instinct his hand came up to cup her rear and she shivered at the contact. "I'll trade you."_

 _Laxus raised an eyebrow. "Trade me? What's on the table?"_

 _Lucy rocked her hips ever so slightly, before biting her lower lip coyly. "You know that video you've been wanting to make?"_

 _Laxus' hand clenched tighter around her ass. "Yeah…" his voice trailed off._

" _Well, I'd be up for it if you agreed to just twenty minutes," Lucy said softly, keeping her head down._

 _Laxus smirked. "Make it ten and add in that other thing we've yet to try and you got yourself a deal."_

 _Lucy huffed slightly at the unfair terms but she knew this was the best she was going to get. Laxus wasn't one to do something he didn't want to do. So him agreeing to this at all was quite an accomplishment on her end._

" _Deal."_

"You can't back out now!" Lucy said, opening the door to the patio and stepping out into the refreshing spring air.

Laxus rolled his shoulders, trying to ease some of the tension as he followed her outside. "You're right, but I sure as hell can complain about it." He loved teasing the girl—she was too easy.

"You made the bargain!" Lucy stomped her foot slightly.

"And that didn't include not being able to complain—I would never agree to that in any negotiation."

Lucy rolled her eyes at him. "Come on, I'll even give you the better mat."

Laxus watched as his wife bent over to unroll both yoga mats, side by side. Her light pink yoga pants stretched deliciously over her ass, thinning just enough so he could barely see her thong through the material. He licked his lips, suddenly having ideas other than yoga on his mind.

Lucy sensed what he was thinking through their bond immediately. "Not until you complete the ten minutes you promised me," she said without looking up.

The lightning slayer walked over to her, grasping her by the shoulders, forcing her to stand on her feet. He growled low. "I don't like it when you deny me."

Lucy gulped. Threatening Laxus' dominance could be downright scary—in a thrilling, sexy sort of way. "Ten minutes, and then we'll do whatever you want. Okay?"

He wanted to fuck her right there on the balcony; throw her down, rip a hole in those flimsy pants and thrust into her body over and over again until she was screaming his name. But coming through the bond he could also feel just how badly she wanted him to try this with her. So he could wait ten minutes before having her his way—yeah, he could wait.

He let go of her shoulders, planting a chaste kiss on her lips. "Ten minutes."

Lucy beamed and he groaned. She stepped to the front of her mat and he followed her lead. "I'm going to teach you Surya Namaskar or a Sun Salutation."

"Do we have to be facing the sun?" Laxus said, thinking he might heckle his way out of these ten minutes.

"What? No. We're fine."

"What if there is no sun? Can we still do this form?" He tried to bite his lip to stop from grinning.

Lucy pursed her lips. "Laxus, the ten minutes doesn't start until we actually start doing the form. Don't think you can weasel your way out of this."

The man growled again. "You're lucky I'm a man of my word. Otherwise you'd be on your knees, screaming my name right now, instead of giving me lip."

Lucy bit back a shiver before turning her focus back to her mat. "Okay, the first step is to raise your hands high over your head like this." Laxus followed her movements somewhat rigidly. "Great! The next step is to bend all the way forward, letting your arms hang has far down as you can." Lucy was incredibly flexible. She easily dover her body forward until her hands were resting flat on the ground.

Laxus on the other hand, was not terribly flexible. His body was built and while he stretched after each workout, he never made a point of stretching for long periods of time. So when he tried to bend as far down as Lucy, he didn't get anywhere near. His hands stopped short of the ground and Lucy could sense the frustration at not being perfect at something.

"It's okay," she said soothingly. "The important thing about this practice is to learn to accept where you are right now. Accepting where you are today is more important than where you will be tomorrow."

Laxus tried to take a deep breath and calm his growing agitation.

"Right, now look up slightly, good. Plant your hands, and then jump back into a plank position." He watched as Lucy effortlessly hopped her feet back on the mat, landing into a perfect push up position. His attempt was less than graceful. First off, he had difficulty planting his hands because _damn it_ he couldn't reach the mat. Secondly, how does one just jump back and land in a push up position. He could do push ups all day long but he didn't just go from standing to falling flat on his face. _This is some ridiculous shit._

He stood up. "Lucy, look I get what you're doing for me but it's really not helping."

Lucy held the plank position as she looked up at him. "You haven't even gotten through one form! It's not helping because you're fighting it _and_ me. Just, do your best and you'll get better!"

Laxus grumbled as he lowered himself into a plank position. _Just remember all of the naughty things she's going to let you record, this is worth it. There's only like five minutes left at this point._

"Great, now lower down as if you were doing a push up but keep your elbows in. Yes! And then push forward and up into a cobra."

Laxus followed her movements, pushing himself up into a back wrenching position. His eyebrow ticked as he tried to contort his body in ways that seemed completely unnatural to someone his size.

"And now, push your hips back into downward facing dog." He tried to turn his neck to see what Lucy was doing. She rolled over the tops of her toes, pushing her hips back into the perfect "come fuck me" position. Legs separated slightly, hands down firm on the ground and her hips up in the air.

Laxus growled at the sight, feeling completely strung out from not being able to take his woman and uncomfortable at wrenching his body in these inane positions. He tried pushing his body back like hers. His shoulders were tight and so were his hamstrings. It was impossible to hold the position for him—or to even get there. And even if he could, he wasn't the type of guy to push his ass up into the air.

"Come on, Laxus! Just try it for me!" Lucy pouted, still maintaining her perfect downward facing _whatever the shit she said._

"I _am_ trying for you!" he yelled back at her.

Lucy rolled her eyes before mumbling, "not really," under her breath.

Well that just about did it. Laxus lost it. The stress of the guild, not being able to have his woman when he wanted her, trying to contort his body into weird positions, the whole thing exceeded his patience level.

He stood up rather clumsily. "Here! Look! This is me trying!" He picked up the yoga mat and chucked it over the railing, watching in satisfaction as it sailed into the lake with a splash.

Lucy just sighed and floated herself to standing. She was familiar with Laxus' temper. "Wow. Rage quit much?"

Laxus was breathing heavily and with each breath he sucked in, he felt more and more embarrassed for losing his temper. Suddenly, the mat floating in the lake wasn't satisfying but guilt inducing. _Shit. I fucked up—again._

He turned to look at his beautiful wife, who was just sitting there with a small smirk on her face. "Uh, Lucy," he began, bringing one hand up to rub the back of his neck. "I'm really sorry."

She stepped over to stand in front of him before wrapping her arms around him. He collapsed against her, letting her take all the stress, guilt and shame he was feeling. They finally broke their embrace and Lucy planted a soft kiss on his cheek. "We'll try again tomorrow."

Laxus furrowed his brow. "Tomorrow?"

"Well yeah. You want that video right?" Laxus narrowed his eyes before nodding his head. "Then you owe me ten full minutes on the mat."

Laxus held her tight against his body. "What if I just took you now instead?" His breath was hot against her ear.

Lucy giggled. "That would be nice and I wouldn't say no but you're still not getting that video—or the other thing."

"We'll try again tomorrow then. But for today, you're all fucking mine," he growled in her ear and she shivered. Well, maybe their old fashioned way of relieving stress would suffice for today.

END

Written by Musicaera


	4. Rage Quit VanGajeel

It was a pretty attractive job posting.

Needed

Mage Musician/Singer. Male

Will work four parties over a weekend.

1m Jewel and "The Lady" Jimmy Richards X704 Les Paul custom guitar.

Photo to be sent to Darla Estehben in Rosegarden to be considered.

"Fuck yes!" Vander snatched the flier down and kissed it.A million Jewel for four parties and a holy grail of a guitar?! He just needed to play the guitar and sing? Done, he loved doing those things anyway, was damn good at both, loved performing being the outgoing person he was, so Vander, spun on his heel from the board and sauntered toward Mira at the bar who looked up and smiled, nibbling at her lip a little.

"Morning Mira, think you could snap a picture of me so I can be considered for this job?" He gave her his best charming grin and the barmaid drew a breath, smiling.

"Of course Vander...You'd be good for it...the requester wanted a guitarist and someone um...with a certain look." She wouldn't tell him the requester had specifically said she wanted someone "Young and hot, eye candy, I mean like will make girls want to throw panties at him." She had said. Vander fit that description and Mira had already...reluctantly, sent Gajeels picture just an hour ago and hadn't heard back.

So she lifted her lacrima camera and snapped a picture of Vander leaning on the bar giving her one of his half smirking looks that even made her melt when he did it. Damn Bickslows brothers, at least Bickslow wore a visor and hid that handsome face of his so a girl could think straight around him. Vander, roguish, charming, handsome as hell and built like he'd been sculpted by a God, just wasn't fair.

She sent the picture including Vanders name and age and that he was an excellent singer and guitarist. She'd heard him do both, knew he was more than proficient. She wouldn't even mind sending Gajeel if Vander went, Vanders voice carried Gajeels pretty well, made up for the fact the Iron Slayer couldn't carry a tune in a bucket to save his life.

Gajeel played guitar, and wrote incredible music, he just couldn't sing. But, when the Iron Slayer had seen the guitar being offered as part of the reward he'd told Mira to send in his picture, let her take one and everything, and Gajeel hated having his picture taken.

Mira sent the picture and information and Vander leaned across the bar, getting a gasp out of the barmaid by pressing a kiss to her temple. "Thanks gorgeous, I'm gonna go backstage and maybe run some chords, you mind?" He asked and Mira, trying not to blush, waved him away.

"You're such a flirt Vander...go on, nobody will mind." She said, nobody would either, vander sang like an angel and played guitar as well as Gajeel did. A few minutes later a guitar started to fill the hall with sweet sexy chords and Vander picked up a song, mages around the hall smiling, some even stopping what they were doing to listen.

Gajeel walked in on this and smirked, walking right past the end of the bar to go backstage himself, certain Vander had probably seen the same flier he had. He meant to get that Guitar damn it.

He knew everyone liked Vanders singing better. Since he'd come to Magnolia for a year off while something was done back in Bosco concerning getting him free of his work for the Steel Council, he'd stirred up alot of mischief, had half the women in the guild making eyes at him and seemed to be fucking his way through the unmarried female population of Magnolia.

Gajeel wanted to hate the guy, everyone fucking liked Vander, and damn it...in spite of his best efforts...so did he.

Anyone who loved guitar and music as much as he himself did...couldn't be all bad, and Vander had even stollen looks at Gajeels music and complimented him on it. Right now he was playing a Black Keys song...Howling for you, and doing a fucking good job with the guitar solo too.

He had a sexy little Les Paul guitar too, had let Gajeel play it and it was a sweet thing, not as sweet as Gajeels custom Fender, but still sweet, sounded smooth. He picked his own guitar up and slid into the chords with vander, earning himself a grin from the other man, he let Vander keep the mic, the music nazis in the guildhall would lose their shit if he started singing so he'd let them have Vanders silky crooning, save his voice for the job.

Mira appeared, she'd been shocked when the requester had called.

"I want them both, I pay them a million each, I can supply another collectors guitar too, "The Lady" will go to the one I feel performs best though. Will they be ok wearing the clothes I supply?" She asked and Mira had assured her both men were professionals and would do what was needed for the job.

"I was walkin' aroun'

Heard footsteps near my door

Then I heard the sound

Sound that made me roar

And it said…." Vander sang

"Shooby doo Bop!" Gajeel grinned

"Ima keep on a knockin on this door

Till you walk up and see what's outside

At first I thought you were a bore

But i aint one of your whores

So i let her in and she screamed at me

She screamed a little more

But once it was over she had nothing left to say

Except I told her to…" Vander sang

"Shooby do Bop!" Gajeel inserted as they worked the music up.

They ripped out a pretty impressive guitar duet and then both sat heavily on the small stools on the stage laughing.

"Fuck man...you make a Fender sing." Vander said. Gajeel nodded toward Vanders guitar

"Yours has a nice voice too." He observed and Vanders hand slid absently over the guitar affectionately. He loved his guitars and this one was his favorite. The sunburst woodwork made it just beautiful.

"Boys...the requester called, she would like to have you both do the shows, she'll pay a million each and provide a second collector's guitar though she said "The Lady" will go to who she picks. She also is providing your clothes for the performances and...wanted to make sure you wouldn't be shy with the party goers?" Mira shrugged, handing Gajeel the flier.

"You're expected in Rosegarden in 4 days so you'll need to jump an airship from Hargeon to make it there in time, she has you booked on one leaving tomorrow morning." She said and the men both grinned, high fiving each other and standing, gathering their guitars and setting them into their cases.

"See ya at the train station." Vander called as he shouldered his guitar case and slipped out between the curtains, applaus greeting him from those in the guild hall who had heard the impromptu performance that faltered when Gajeel followed him, but rapidly resumed at the Dragon Slayers glare.

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The trip to Rosegarden was spent pretty relaxed. Xally had provided the dragonslayers, via Lucy, Lacrima imbued with the anti motion sickness spell used on Boscan military airships and Gajeel had no issues with it anymore, so he got to enjoy the flight, the pool, the women, and being alongside Vander who drew women like bees to honey.

When they got their guitars out it was like the Pied Piper of sex had come aboard, women flocked to them, started touching them, running fingers through their hair, whispering their room numbers to them, the works. Gajeel had never really had trouble getting laid when he wanted to, he was handsome, worked hard to maintain his well muscled body and had "badboy" down to a fucking science.

Vander though was light, funy, wickedly sexy and seemed to make every woman he was around...happy...and horny as hell. The combination of the Iron Dragon Slayer and and a former Sudehpah sexual arts prodigy with a 6'2" lithe muscular body, stunningly handsome face, full lips and red streaked shoulder length black hair backed up by eyes the color of wine and no panties on board remained dry through the trip.

They worked out the songs they wanted to do, agreed they would accept the client's decision about who got "The Lady" and from there just sort of...fucked their way to Rosegarden.

Walking side by side down the skyway Gajeel spotted a tall slightly horsefaced woman in elegant clothes searching the passengers and nodded toward her, she was holding up a sign with the Fairy Tail symbol on it.

"Gotta be ours" Gajeel noted and Vander grinned, heading for the woman.

"Oh!...Oh my...your...your pictures don't really do you justice…" She breathed, eyes travelling with an open leer from top to bottom of both men and Gajeel frowned. Vander, unaffected, just smiled. "I'm Vander, this is Gajeel, you're Mrs. Durencray?" He asked and the woman smiled "Miss...yes I am, I've organized these parties every year and usually we have special talent from the Order of Sudehpah in Bosco and Sect 1 of Joya come in for them but since they were unavailable this year, I figured some willing mages would do just as well…" She said.

Something about her wording...how she was looking at them, had Gajeel narrowing his ruby eyes but he fell in behind the woman as she led them down to a carriage that would carry them to the Resort they would be performing at.

They discussed the music they would be using and their client was happy to accept what they had chosen, which made the pair exchange gloating smirks as the carriage stopped and they climbed out. Gajeel noticed fairly quickly...there were no men, The door attendant, the desk staff, even the person who put their luggage on a cart...all women.

"Uh...is this some special resort?" Gajeel asked and their client grinned. "All of the resorts in Rosegarden are special Mr. Redfox, the Maidentide Resort is of course special, we cater to women of a particular temperament and set of preferences. Your guildmate, Miss Erza Scarlett enjoys visiting here." She said brightly. "Normally, you are correct though, no men are allowed on the resort grounds, you two though are special entertainment for the weekend. I'll show you to your rooms, your wardrobes have been selected, you did agree to wear what was provided for the shows." She reminded them and both Vander and Gajeel glanced at the other, they would have agreed to wear fucking ball gowns to have a shot at taking home "The Lady" and a million jewel a piece.

Their client opened their room doors, they had a suite with a door connecting the two large luxurious rooms. "Dinner will be brought here for you, I apologize but you can not walk about the resort freely until tomorrow." She told them.

They exchanged glances again and nodded, the client bowed to them and left them to get settled. Gajeel was the first to open the door to Vander adjoining suite.

"That seem...fucking weird as shit to you? Because it sure had my skin crawling." Gajeel said as he walked into the suite. Vander was standing by a rack the held a few garment back, he'd unzipped two of the four and Gajeel froze.

"What...the FUCK is that?" He demanded.

Vander lifted the hanger, holding up what was...a thong, leather tassled skirt, shoulder pauldrons, a red cape and a helmet with a red plume. "Um...a gladiator outfit?" He guessed.

Gajeels eyes widened as Vander then pulled out a loincloth, wolf ears and...a bushy tail and...dog collar with a leash?!

"No...not just no but fuck no!" He growled storming to his own room and ripping open the garment bags hanging on the rack by the fireplace. Sure enough, he had the same outfits Vander did, Gladiator...dog…

"Fucking...hell…" He stared at the red and black spandex that he wasn't sure would even fit on his body let alone cover anything, devils horns and a devils tail and then the final one...shiny black spandex leggings that...could be easily removed with snaps…

"No..no way!" He roared.

Vander was there "More for me. I might let you sniff "The Lady" once I have her….come on Gaj, so we have to dress up, play man whores for a bunch of women for the weekend, a million jewel and a dream guitar? You remember Hendricks playing that beauty? How sweet she sounds?" He said and Gajeel deflated...he did...he really did, he loved that guitar.

"Fine…" he growled. Vander grinned "That's the spirit, besides, you were slinging your pierced junk all over the cruise ship, don't think I missed that just because i was busy with those girls from the University."

Gajeel smirked, he'd gotten more than a little drunk the second night by the pool and maybe...some grabby ladies had gotten his swim trunks off...and he hadn't bothered to retrieve them until ships staff demanded he did.

"You draw grabby handed women Van...you know that right?" He pointed out and Vander smirked "Kinda my type...and if they aren't when i meet em...I get em that way as fast as possible." He grinned. Gajeel snorted

"I noticed…" He said.

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The next evening they were collected early….after garment bags arrived with their attire for the first part of the evening. Skin tight black spandex pants, leather boots, tight black leather vests and the dog collars.

Gajeel bared his fangs when he pulled the clothes out, but a quick action of Vander making a strumming motion imitating playing a guitar got the slayer to snarl and retreat to wrestle his way into the damn things.

Vander stood adjusting his collar when Gajeel came out, his wolf whistle drew a fresh snarl from the slayer.

"Oh come on, you look hot, I'd fuck ya." Vander said lightly, and Gajeel growled, not amused. "The fuck are we doing in this shit? We don't sing until 8 it's barely 5." He pointed out, Vander shrugged. She said we would be back up for the main female performer and just needed to "Play along"...I like the bonus she offered, another 200K, shit, I'll play all sorts of along whatever the fuck she wants for 200K." Vander observed and Gajeel rolled his eyes but their cliet arrived. Miss Du as she told them to call her was grinning, eyes now lecherous as they skimmed over the two tall men in their tight outfits.

"Perfect.." She breathed, when she started to reach to touch him Gajeel growled at her but Vander caught her hand and pressed it right against his chest "He's the Dom...I'm whatever the hell you want me to be." He purred at her and Miss Du grinned, hand sliding down his chest and over his thigh to come up on his ass. " " She said slowly and bared her teeth at Gajeel before leading them out. Vander gave Gajeel a smirk as he kept himself between their client and the narrow eyed fuming Dragon Slayer.

A short while later, with a brief explanation and a woman almost as tall as they were with garish Pink and Yellow hair and way too much make up and a black patent leather outfit on came up and snapped leashes on their collars. "You'll dance with me while I sing, the better you play it up, the better the performance, the more points toward "The Lady." She said with a smile "You are now competing for that guitar, whoever performs best through the weekend, gets her." She said.

They were led onto a stage and when the music started Gajeel growled and Vander grinned.

"S&M" by Rihanna. The woman could sing too, and when the curtains went up both men were a little stunned by the throngs of women in the audience in the massive concert hall but with the music going they were both drawn in. Back up dancers swarmed Gajeel but because Vander moved faster he got the singer, who climbed all over him while the crowd screamed for more.

They were the only men, just the two of them and easily 300 or more women, about 10 on stage with them, Gajeel tried to keep the guitar firmly in his mind as hands slid all over him and he watched them get just indecent with Vander who played it up, dancing, rolling his body, letting them strip away the vest, even letting the lead singer slide her hand down the front of his pants while he rolled his body and thrust his hips right into her hand.

The crowd screamed and gajeel wasn't going to be fucking outdone by the Boscan, no fucking way was he giving up that guitar. Pulling one of the dancers in he started dry humping her while another pressed in behind him and the singer came to him, grabbing his leash. She sandwiched herself between them, wrapping her legs around Gajeel, her arms around Vanders neck and Vander grinned, snapping his hips with the music and Gajeel bared his teeth and did the same.

"Fucking perfect!" The singer declared when it was over, she pulled them to the curtain and cameras were brought out. "Give me something I can fucking sell boys." She growled. Vander grinned, playing nicely to the singer as she wrapped herself around him, letting her grip the waistline of the pants and pull down one spot baring one cheek of his ass, back to the camera, her legs around his waist, head turned hard to the side so his profile was clear and he was biting her neck.

Gajeel laid down, let the singer climb on top of him and then just got nasty, arching his body up into her and thrusting his hands up into his thick black mane while the singer beamed and slid her hands over his bare chest.

"Worth every damn penny! Thank you gentlemen, I hope we get you next year!" She declared a few minutes later, bowing to them both and hurrying off with her crew, a stage hand leading them to their dressing room where the damn gladiator outfits waited.

The first performance wasn't too bad, the crowd was young women, in their 20s mixed with some older women, They had already been coordinating how they moved on stage, Gajeel left the singing to Vander, too determined to finish the job to risk critics being bitchy.

When the security let a few select women on stage with them they handled it, though Gajeel was ready to break one womans arm if she touched his guitar again. Taking a que from Vander though he caught her hand and put it on his chest "Touch me...not the guitar sugar." He growled and the girl squealed in delight, happily running her hands over his chest and shoulders as he played, it was easy enough to dance out of her grasp and use the guitar to keep her from getting a good grip, he'd watched Vander doing it, though the Shadowquip decidedly let them touch a fuck ton more than Gajeel would allow.

"Vander leads...he has our patrons all abuzz about his charm," Miss Du observed, giving Gajeel a sidelong look when she left them at their rooms that night.

The following day was much like the other, back up dancers for a female performer, then their own performance, the single leg, way too tight red spandex devil costume Gajeel just hated.

"Can see my damn piercings through this shit…" He observed looking down at himself and Vander snorted.

"They don't leave much to the imagination, the Guitar will cover your pierced junk my friend, just hang on to it." He chuckled.

"Let me get more points…" He added and Gajeel narrowed his eyes on the other mage. Fuck that, he was getting that damn guitar.

Vander had it on though, "Slow hands" the man played through so well even Gajeel thought he was sexy.

The end of the evening came and he was pretty sure Vander was ahead of him, he started wondering what the other guitar was.

"Bonus...we have some ladies who want a private show….do a good job and I assign 20 points to the best...that could put you in the lead Mr. Redfox or give Mr. Pradesh a landslide win." She told them and they came into the smaller more private performance area, it was near midnight, and sitting in stands on the bar at the back of the room was "the Lady" and...a X626 Fender Stratocaster in blood red with studs all around her edges… Only 20 had ever been made, he could fucking SEE the #5 on it too. That had to be the other collector piece, and when he asked Miss Du nodded smiling.

The women came in, most of them older, and music started playing "Just dance with them." Miss Du said, leaving them to join the women and beckoning them. Vander shrugged, he was Boscan, this might have been a normal night at a club in Pelerno to him. Weird tight costume aside.

Gajeel though was glaring, he was in tight spandex held onto his body by snaps he knew would give with a hard pull eyeing women with predatory handsy looks on their faces.

Sighing, eyeing the guitars, he followed Vanders damn lead.

He kept going when he watched the women all but swarm Vander, and sure enough, the shadowquip was soon relieved of the pants and what had started as a very sexy dancing turned into a women straddling the man while two other women pushed him to his back...not that Vander objected, the Shadowquip had suspected it might end up this way, he let himself be held down while the first woman straddled him and sank down impaling herself on him with a groan. Over a million jewel and a gorgeous guitar, he had done more for less.

It was when the poles emerged from the stage with handcuffs on them and the women tried to pull Gajeel to them he finally snarled, snatched his wrist away and ripped a pole out of the stage taking a bit out of it and snarling at the women so they gasped and jumped back in fear.

"Mr. Redfox…" Miss Du started, eyes having trouble staying on the mans face.

"Done! I am DONE! I signed up for a job not thinly veiled prostitution Bitch." He snarled. "I chose who gets in my damn pants." He announced and strode from the stage, snatched up the red studded guitar and bowed.

"Vander, enjoy, I know your Boscan ass doesn't mind this shit but I am OUT!" He called and with that, kicked the doors open to leave the performance area and stormed off, snarling at anyone unlucky enough to cross his path.

Vander smirked, buried under several women, once Gajeel was out of the room they were everywhere, and he honestly wasn't sure he could make them all happy...but he'd damn sure try. Gajeel had his pride but...so did he.

The next day saw the men sitting on the airship heading back to Hargeon, Vander lovingly strumming "The Lady" Gajeel perfectly happily joining him on his blood colored guitar. Neither brought up their final night, neither really felt they had compromised anything that mattered to them.


End file.
